Home Stretch - 3/26/06

Staunton, VA - Only because of the fact that it is a Sunday morning am I sitting in the Daily Grind in Staunton VA pounding out this particular post. Were it any other day of the week I'd be over at Coffee at the Corner, but Dave does not open on Sunday. So it goes. We got here Saturday at noon after driving through quite a little spring snowstorm in the Appalachian mountains between Lewisburg and Staunton - up to 4" at the top of the mountains. Ironic to have avoided snow during the entire winter leg only to have to drive through it to get home to Staunton!

I am slowly recovering from a pretty hard few days. On the 23rd we travelled to Lexington VA to do Much Ado for the Virginia Military Institute, then after the show we traveled another hour to get to Lewisburg, WV. We had a 7:30 AM call on the 24th for Carnegie Hall in Lewisburg, where we did a 10:00 AM NEA 90-minute Much Ado and then later that night we did an 8PM Much Ado for the city. Then yesterday morning we travelled home to Staunton, arriving around noon. Everyone was relieved to be home in time to see the last performances of the Renaissance season. But I chose not to go, opting instead to try to lay down and heal from the last week. We are not officially done with the tour, as we leave tomorrow morning for Cullowee NC and Western Carolina University for two shows on Tuesday, and we still have one final gig at VMI doing Richard III. Then on Friday night we open Planet, and that begins our official residence in the Blackfriars.

I am really pretty frustrated and depressed because my body is not holding out as well as I wanted it to this past week. I was psychologically ready for the week ahead, knowing there were going to be many Much Ado shows, late nights and early mornings and 2-a-days. No alcohol, no going out after shows. I kept up my vitamins and tried to eat well, and also tried to keep up some light exercise by walking around Raleigh. But nothing helped, I guess. At NC State we did two Much Ados, and that was the beginning. Two MAs is a bit rough for me, the hardest physical show I have, because I expend a lot of energy between the Watch and the worked-up Leonato in the wedding scene and beyond. And I have found traveling to be wearying too as of late, so the drive from Raleigh to Lexington, followed by a full MA, pretty much did me in. The early morning MA and the evening MA in Lewisburg were the coupe de grace, so that by the time I got back to the hotel room I was dead to the world and sore in so many places. I think in the two nights I roomed with Chris during the Lewisburg stay I didn't say more than 10 words to him. I slept between shows for about 3.5 hours, and tried like hell to conserve as much energy as possible, doing little talking and looking for quiet places to sit, rest and be still. I got a lot of rest yesterday, got to bed relatively early, and today feel a bit better, although my neck is still hurting and my back is still a bit stiff.

All this physical discomfort has led me to begin to ask the question of how long I can keep doing stage acting. The tour is rough, sure, but I think it goes beyond merely touring. I remember feeling like this in the summer of 04, when I was doing Grumio in Delaware Park. I was not in as good a shape weight-wise, but still, doing 6 shows a night for close to four weeks with all the running around I did back then had me pretty exhausted, and one day off a week was not enough. Add to that the two hours of commuting, and it was tiring. On this tour I've lost weight, did walking and bike-riding to help improve my stamina, and the first leg, as I recall, went OK. But Christmas Carol was exhausting (many 2-a-days with one 3-a-day), and this latter part of the tour has been tiring as well.

One of the things I try to drive home to my students in my acting classes is that someday, at some point in time, 95% of them will have to face the mirror and realize they will not make their living solely as a professional actor. Only a very small percentage of people get to do so, and sometimes coming to that realization helps people move on. I remember so clearly that day for myself, when I began to see my hair thin, realized I was never going to be taller than 5'9", and was not a ruggedly handsome man with ripped abs and a tight butt. So I pursued a teaching career, figuring I could do some summer acting on the side that way and not have to worry about making a living in the theatre. Besides, I was never able to sell myself effectively as you have to do to get an agent and be seen. I hated the commercial end of it all, and that was another factor in deciding to get out from a fully professional career. But these past few days, combined with the past few years and jobs, has led me realize that another day comes - the day when you can't do anymore the things you used to do. During the rehearsal process I was doing all these somersaults and jumping over boxes, but a lot of that got cut (and rightly so) for fear of my hurting myself or overextending myself. I thought then how silly that was, that of course I could still do all those things. But this week has really got me to realize that perhaps, no matter what I do and no matter how good a shape I can get myself into, I'm never going to have quite the strength and recovery ability as I had 20 years ago. It's even been some time since I've done an 8-show-a-week full rep season (probably not since WSF 1995), so the upcoming residency has me, shall we say, concerned. I find myself envying the energy and recovering ability of my younger colleagues. They say about athletes that they know the time comes to retire when the rewards of playing are trumped by the pain of getting it together to play. As much fun as it is has been to play, the pain of playing is no longer bearable. Witness someone like Jeff Bagwell of the Houston Astros, whose shoulder is so full of arthritis he can no longer throw the baseball, and can barely swing the bat, yet as of this writing has still not retired and is still trying to play under his current contract. It's hard to recognize that day, but I find myself staring at the rising sun of that day myself.

Of course, I've whispered about "retirement" from the stage before. If my wife had a nickel for every time I said I would quit acting, she'd retire herself. Then that call comes with the great role you've never played, or a chance comes to do something you've never done (like touring?). I could say I'll quit at the end of this contract, but when someone comes around to offer me Malvolio - the only male role in Twelfth Night I haven't played - or King Lear, I'll probably crawl out of my Lazy Boy and get back in the saddle. The stage for me is an addiction, not because I particularly like the attention or any of the exterior trappings, but because it's such damn fun. And exciting. O Theatre - I wish I could quit you!

But enough whining. I should report that the shows did go well. Carnegie Hall in Lewisburg was a very nice venue, and the food we got there was fantastic. Most impressed were the vegetarians, because the dinner offered was a tofu-broccoli stew in a peanut sauce with brown rice. There was no meat dish. A nice salad, raw veggies and rolls complimented the dinner. Lunch was just as good, with some fantastic whole grain rolls, chicken salad and hummus, salad, veggies and great cookies with milk. As Kevin said, "These people get it." But we did have one unfortunate incident - during the performance Sarah stepped hard on Alyssa's foot and broke a toe. So Alyssa went to the emergency room, and is now again limping around with a soft cast on her foot. We will have to make some adjustments for the upcoming performances on the road, and no doubt during the opening weekend of our shows in the Blackfriars. And Jessica has also been limping about with a sore foot, keeping it wrapped up during performances. So a few minor injuries are out there, along with my general soreness. Would it be the Atomic Fission Tour without a few injuries here and there? Of course not! - TWL