Today (Dec. 17th) is the anniversary of the first publishing of Dickens' original Christmas Carol story in 1848, 157 years ago. Amazing how popular and how so engrained into the culture it's become over those years. I've not been engaged in much more than doing the show over the past week. This week had promised to be a killer, with 12 performances scheduled in the week. Fortune smiled somewhat upon us, however,
as a fairly large ice storm came in and shut down schools for two days. So we had the Thursday and Friday matinees canceled. And the Thursday evening performance had something like 12 people in the house, as the falling ice scared just about everyone away. However, we don't get away scot-free, as we found out this afternoon that we have to do two school matinees this coming Tuesday; that's three shows in a day. I wonder how I'll feel once that day is over.I did not do much over Thursday except try to talk my son Eric through a computer makeover via phone, and Friday was a busy day, as I did laundry, shopping, and also went out in the morning and took pictures of the ice storm results. I think I posted them to Flickr, but I still have to post them to Yahoo! as well. I have posted some pictures of the rehearsals for CC, but there aren't many, as the opportunity to take pictures were small. I also did some online shopping for the family and made some Christmas CDs for Ann Marie. I also took the time to compose our family Christmas letter. We usually send that out every other year. If you would like to read the PDF version of our family newsletter, feel free to click here.
The review of the show is also in, and here is the PDF version of that. It's a little embarrassing in the sense that the review seems to be a review of my performance moreso than the show as a whole, and I regret most of my fellow performers hardly got mentioned. The unique use of sound goes unnoticed. I also think it's something of a reflection of how much baggage there is attached to the role of Scrooge and how people like to see their expectations fulfilled. I just wish the reviewer had looked at other elements of the production as well and placed my performance in the context of the entire production. Good reviewing is so hard to come by. But if it will put butts in the seats, so much the better.
One thing I am learning is how hard it truly is to perform live onstage at this rate. I find it hard to fight the tendency towards tedium, which is no doubt caused by doing the same show over and over. You have to concentrate hard to fight the numbness and the fatigue. I find sometimes I have a lot of trepidation in getting ready to do the show because I know how tired I'll be at the end of it, and I don't want to be that tired. I enjoy passing the day doing frivolous things like reading, sitting in Coffee on the Corner and surfing the internet, riding around the county's back roads just for the pleasure of it. Part of me looks forward to doing the show every night, and part of me dreads it at the same time. I don't get that feeling during rehearsal, and when working in Buffalo (only Thur-Sun performances) I don't get that feeling either. It could be just this particular show, just the fact that it's CC and not one of our other ones. I don't think I'll feel the same way when we return in the spring, and I know I didn't feel this was on the road in the fall. It could also be just the fact that I don't like playing lead roles like this, and going out and being the center of attention night after night doesn't sit well with my soul. I can't shake the nagging idea that something is lacking in the performance, but perhaps nothing really is lacking. Perhaps it's just my subconscious not letting me sit easy and having that slight uncomfortableness at being out front. Doesn't seem very actor-like to me. Yet I've always known that my reason for not pursuing a professional career at all was my inability to blow my own horn and call attention to myself. Sometimes that makes me wonder why I ever pursued this craft in the first place. I actually had that thought at the end of this evening's show as I was leaving the building.
But it's not something I want to get into now. I have been thinking somewhat lately about life after ASC and this experience, and what I'll do next apart from teaching. I have finished listening to Will in the World; it's an interesting book, and over this past week I heard the end of the book where the author speculates on Shakespeare's final plays and his subsequent retirement. He points out how Prospero in The Tempest seeks to return to the world of men while he is at the height of his powers on his mystical island, and he draws a parallel to Shakespeare's own personal retirement at a time when none of his playwriting abilities had diminished. I wonder how one knows when it's time to get out. Will seems to have known. But there are yet so many roles to play.... -TWL
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